Day 17: (Joyce Meyer - Eat the Cookie, Buy the Shoe)

     Eat the Cookie, Buy the Shoe, is Joyce Meyer's latest book. It deals with guilt.  I suffer from guilt severely!  I feel guilty if I am not nice enough or don't spend enough time with someone.  Who is measuring anyway?  I need to learn how to deal with my guilt, badly please!  This is taken from JoyceMeyer.org about this new book:

It's OK to Celebrate
Need a break in your routine? Want to celebrate or treat yourself to something for a job well done? You can! Buy now.

"Eat the Cookie...Buy the Shoes" celebrates that we’re not built for guilt. God never intended for us to be under a heavy burden. In fact, God is the ultimate party planner and wants you to learn how to celebrate the victories in your life.
This book will help you find the freedom to...

• Do something you enjoy and not feel guilty about it
• Celebrate Jesus and what He’s doing in you
• Reward yourself for progress instead of punishing yourself every time you fail
• Give yourself permission to lighten up when facing challenges while staying spiritually balanced... don't be so hard on yourself

Recharge Guilt Free
At some point, we all need to “eat the cookie and buy the shoes” in order to help us finish what we’ve started or as a way of celebrating something we’ve accomplished. Your cookie and shoes can be anything that you enjoy. Buy now.


So if you’ve ever thought that it’s wasteful to occasionally splurge or unnecessary to give yourself a break, then let Joyce’s book, "Eat the Cookie...Buy the Shoes", recharge you and help you experience the freedom to turn an ordinary day into a guilt-free celebration!

Day 16: The last 5 Excuses and the end of the book

Continuing from yesterday's first five excuses here are the last five as spoken about by Joyce Meyer in Battlefield of the Mind:

6. My behavior may be wrong, but it's not my fault. - Joyce was abused horribly as a child. She was praying one day for help with her husband because she wanted him to change a few things about himself that annoyed her.  Instead she was showed that she had her own issues of control and nagging.  She blamed it on her past and that she couldn't help it because she was abused, a victim.  She heard a voice (God) instead say, "Abuse may be the reason you act this way, but don't let it become an excuse to stay this way!"  Are there any behaviors you have that you excuse yourself from because of your past?

7. My life is so miserable; I feel sorry for myself because my life is so wretched. - This would be the "poor me" attitude which we all get.  It's the victim role.  We want others to know that we are suffering and therefore need their attention and love.  Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.  Usually, people become annoyed because they too have the need to be loved.  Instead of playing this role and expecting others to fill your need, begin to learn how to love yourself and fulfill your need by trusting in your source; that His love is sufficient.  Joyce says before any of us gets into a pity party, to encourage each other throughout the day.  Self-pity only keeps us trapped in the past.

8.  I don't deserve God's blessings because I am not worthy. - We are worthy.  We all have something to offer and receive from each other.  When we do things for others we should do it with love, not because we want something in return.  This is what Joyce is saying.  That we are worthy because we are alive not from what we have accomplished.  Therefore, give with love and receive with love.

9. Why shouldn't I be jealous and envious when everybody else is better off than I am? - Envy will cause a person to behave in a rude way. The Vines dictionary defines envy as "the feeling of displeasure produced by witnessing the prosperity of others." - jealousy is defined in Websters dictionary as "feelings of envy, apprehension, or bitterness."  Jealousy, envy, and comparison are traits of the insecure. We are all 
individuals with a unique value and personal plan. No one is above another. We all have strengths and weaknesses and we all have a unique individual plan.  In my new job there is someone here that is very similar to me in personality, clothes style, size and job role (very unusual in the engineering world!).  We could both be competitive with each other but instead we are not and are experiencing the beginning of a very nice friendship.  In order to remedy these negative thought patterns Joyce suggest to be honest with God about your feelings and that He already knows how you  feel so you may as well release your concerns to Him. It's like when you talk with a friend about a problem. You may not be looking for a solution but you just need to speak what is on your mind and then you usually feel better afterward.  Having this wilderness mentality only holds us back and brings us strife. Know within yourself to be your best but not to compete with others because we all have strengths and weaknesses.

10. I'm going to do it my way, or not at all.  The last wilderness mentalities are within the same group; stubbornness and rebelliousness.  Now how on earth could these two mindsets ever help anyone? We are all linked together and we do better as a team.  Each one of us bringing to the table our strengths and each one helping each other out with weaknesses.  This is the way to success and out of the wilderness.

     To close the final chapter of this book, Joyce Meyer, points out that the battlefield is in the mind and that we all suffer from these "wilderness mentalities."  Turning against these is what we need to fight the battle and turn our lives around.  She says that our actions affect others.  Our parent's actions affect us and so on.  My mother taught me to be a strong, independent woman while my father taught me to be loving to all.  Both are a great balance and a blessing in my life.  Imagine if your parents were rid of their wilderness mentalities and then it trickled down to you and on and on to your children.  How much better would this world be?  How has your life been affected  by the choices of your parents?  Let's start this awesome flow of self-improvement.

Day 15: Excuses or "Wilderness Mentalities"

There are ten wilderness mentalities as Joyce points out.  These are mentalities that don't help us but instead create excuses for us to not do our best. These mentalities hold us back from living a life of love and bliss. 5 will be talked about today and the rest tomorrow.

1. My future is determined by my past and my present.  Not true!  Be positive and look at the possibilities of the future.  Your future is determined by your actions.

2. Someone do it for me; I don't want to take the responsibility. - When we do things then we are responsible which can be scary.  If I make plans with someone for dinner then I am responsible for meeting them.  That can be scary when it's hard to predict how you will feel in the future.  Therefore, some people won't make plans because they don't want to have this burden of responsibility.  Joyce says "to be responsible is to respond to the opportunities that God has placed in front of us."  Every responsibility  we encounter leads us to new growth and possibilities.

3. Please make everything easy; I can't take it if things are too hard! - Joyce says, "we spend so much time thinking and talking about "how hard it is" that the project ends up being much more difficult than it would have been had we been positive instead of negative." I've heard a lot of people complain about their jobs and never do anything about it. When things got rough for me I started thinking about all the things I did like about my job. It made each day that much more enjoyable.

4. I can't help it; I'm just addicted to grumbling, faultfinding, and complaining. - This is just a pattern or habit that you have set up but have the power to change (as my mom wisely taught me the other day).  It only brings negativity which then puts you in a bad mood and every one else. Watch your negative thoughts and change them to be positive. You will reap the benefits.

5. Don't make me wait for anything; I deserve everything immediately. - "Impatience is the fruit of pride...and patience is the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting." says Joyce. We are all prideful over different things. When I'm prideful I get in a bad mood because I feel like I should be treated differently. Why? Because, I'm Charissa. Hahaha! We are all equal but we have different strengths and weaknesses. Let's treat each other as if we are. As Joyce says, "we need to learn to enjoy where we are while we are on our way to where we are going!" Joyce goes on to say that nothing in this life will be perfect. Instead of being idealistic be realistic. Things won't always go the way you want. Be ok with that. We cannot be harmed if we remain in love.

Charissa

Day 14: Be Word-Minded

Expressing appreciation releases joy in us and the other person.

Be Word-minded
Joyce Meyer recommends meditation similar to our other authors (ie. Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra etc.)  Joyce comes from a Christian background so she recommends to meditate on the Bible for inspiration and encouragement. For those who are non Bible readers pick out some inspirational quotes and meditate and think on these wise words throughout the day to prosper, deal wisely, and to have good success (Joshua 1:8).   If we practice first mentally then we can physically follow through with positive actions.  If I say why I appreciate Nate in my thoughts throughout the day (ie. I'm thankful he cleans, cooks, works hard etc.) then when I see him my actions will show him that I appreciate him without even trying.  It will be natural and true for me (ie. Give him a big hug and smile when I come home from work, sweep the floor so he doesn't need to etc.).  An extra caveat Joyce points out is that thinking positive, loving words brings physical health and beauty. I'll take that!!!

Day 13: How to be God-like

Joyce lists ways to live a God-like life to find happiness and love in your life:

1. Think positive thoughts- God is positive. “Have a positive outlook and attitude. Maintain positive thoughts and expectations. Engage in positive conversation.”

2. Be God-minded- “Think on the goodness of God and all the marvelous works of His hands.” Watch television shows about nature, animals, ocean life etc. to be reminded of the greatness and awesomeness of God.

3. Be “God-Loves-Me” Minded- Be actively aware that you are loved by your source. Say it out loud, “God loves me.” This should be a comforting thought especially when you are thinking negative thoughts in order to turn them around.

4. Have an exhortative mind- Think positive, uplifting thoughts about other people. “…whatever is in your heart will come out of your mouth. Do some “love thinking” on purpose. Send thoughts of love toward other people. Speak words of encouragement to them. The simple rule is: "If it’s not good, then don’t think it or say it.” We have enough troubles of our own so instead of bringing someone down, uplift them instead. We are all on this journey together. The more lovely thoughts you think, the more positive change you will see in people’s behavior toward you. Woo Hoo!

5. Develop a thankful mind- Try to not complain. Instead be thankful at all times and in all things. You will enter into the victorious life this way.

Day 12: A judgemental, critical and suspicious mind

I have been called a judgmental person many times by my family. I have worked on this and have learned to allow people their own space to do as they choose with out being critical. As I have learned, we are all at different stages of the process we call life. How can we judge when we too had to learn or will need to learn in certain situations. For example, I use to be judgmental if someone would dress provocative. I would label them as a “slut”. I was much more conservative when I was younger. I still am but I don’t think it’s wrong to dress sexy. How much is up to the person. How can I judge how they are dressed when I too have dressed “slutty” too? My thinking changed as time went on just as everyone is at a different part of their journey. Some are ahead of others on understanding certain situations while others still need to cross that path.
Joyce says that criticisms, opinions and judgments are all relatives of each other. Being critical is seeing the wrong instead of the right. Our opinions are what are right for us from our perspective. Everyone has a different perspective. You may think eating meat is wrong because it is harming a living animal while another may think it is absolutely fine. Who is right? They are both right to themselves according to their own perspectives.
Lastly, Joyce states that judgment and criticism comes from pride. It is only the self-righteous attitude of oneself that brings us to this state. This is so true! For example, I exercise regularly and try to eat healthy to stay slim. It takes a lot of work and self-discipline. When I see others who are overweight I silently judge in my head. I don’t know their personal situation to know why they are that way. Maybe they haven’t been informed of the health benefits or don’t care how they look. I judge because I feel self-righteous in my actions to be slim. We have free will to live our lives the way we choose. This I will need to work on because it is pride which in this respect criticizes and put’s others down, separating myself from others. When I judge in this way I feel I don’t want to talk to these type of people because they are different than me and/or have different values. Instead of being prideful I need to humble myself because we are all human and we all have strengths and weaknesses.

Day 11: An Anxious and Worried Mind

In Battlefield of the mind by Joyce Meyer, she recognizes that “It is absolutely impossible to worry and live in peace at the same time.” Isn’t this true! I was on an excursion/tour for vacation and needed to be back by a certain time. The guide assured us that we would be. We still worried, not enjoying our present moment as we could have. We did return on time and the worrying was not needed. It says in Webster's dictionary that worry is to feel uneasy or troubled; a source of nagging concern. This is the battlefield of the mind to distract us from feeling good and doing good in the present moment and instead take us away to a place of angst that hasn’t even occurred yet. When we worry our thoughts become repetitious on what may or may not happen. They are always negative thoughts or the worse possible outcome of a situation. I’ve always noticed that the worse never happens yet we waste so much time worrying about it. Check out your worrying thoughts. Are they usually the worst possible outcome of a situation? Is the worry usually correct, sometimes correct or rarely correct? I have found out that its hardly ever correct. Only the mind can think up such horrific scenarios.
Joyce points out in the Bible how we don’t need to worry at all in Matthew 6:25, “Therefore I tell you, stop being perpetually uneasy (anxious and worried) about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink; or about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life great [in quality] than food, and the body [far above and more excellent] than clothing?” Bravo! All the essentials are taken care of, trust in your source.
Furthermore in Matthew 6:27 it says, “And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure to his stature or to the span of his life?” Ha! How many times have I worried about getting a good grade in school or doing a good job on a project at work? Too many times. Each time with the same outcome. I can either worry (which adds stress and possibly slower or poorer performance) or I cannot worry (stress-free, happier, possibly quicker performance). I think worrying only adds stress, negativity and poor productivity because it occupies the mind with the future and not the present moment.
To close with a favorite verse (Matthew 6:34) “So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own."

Charissa

Day 10: A doubtful and unbelieving mind

     “…doubt causes a person to waver between two opinions, whereas unbelief leads to disobedience,” says Joyce Meyer in Battlefield of the Mind.  Both of these are not helpful to our everyday lives.  Which one are you plagued by, doubt or unbelief?  Joyce says that doubt is when we want to believe something will happen but we question whether it will.  For example, Steve was praying and believing that he would be healed from a sickness.  During this time he was plagued with thoughts of disbelief.  He was healed but he had to ward off the doubtful thoughts that he wouldn’t be healed.  Doubtful thoughts only bring discouragement.

     Joyce reminds us that we are all given a passion and purpose.  Doubt is from the devil to discourage us from living our life’s purpose.  In the Bible, Peter walks on water toward Jesus when out at sea in the middle of a storm.  It says in Matthew 12:32 “And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.”  We live within the storm of our lives when we live in doubt and disbelief.  Once Peter believed and had faith the storm stopped.  This is a metaphor in regards to the storm of our life when we have doubt.  I am starting a new job and I can easily have doubt that I won't be good enough but that only creates chaos in my head.  Instead I will believe that I am equipped with the right tools to learn, therefore ceasing the storm and living a peaceful life.

   Lastly, doubt does not need to exist if you have faith and believe as it says in Matthew 21:18-22 “And whatever you ask for in prayer, having faith and believing, you will receive.”  As Joyce points out, doubt is a choice, you can choose your own thoughts.  The battlefield is in the mind. 

Day 9: That funny feeling

     I get these funny feelings every once in a while to talk to a complete stranger or to buy a gift for someone I barely know but see everyday at the office. I usually reason myself out of doing such things because it’s not normal or seems silly. There is a lady who cleans our office building everyday. She is very sweet, quiet. I had this strong urge to get her a small thank you gift. My spirit wanted to praise her but my carnal mind said that it was silly. I never got her the thank you gift but I wish I had. I think these small premonitions are signs from our spiritual guide urging us for whatever purpose he has.  Some things cannot be understood why we have an urging to buy someone’s meal or to help a neighbor mow their lawn but there is always a God reasoning behind it. We don’t need to understand why and we don’t need to reason ourselves out of following our feelings. Just do it. I think we will all be pleasantly surprised. Whether you are a believer in the God of the Bible or not. There is a spiritual, powerful energy that exists and that we can trust in. Joyce points out in her book, Battlefield of the Mind that in Proverbs 3:5 it says, “Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.” Follow that good feeling next time whether its letting someone go in front of you in the line at the grocery store or driving in a more loving and respectful way. I always feel good about myself when I follow my spiritual urging and I think you will too.

     I'm sorry my blogging has been inconsitent.  I just started my new job at Oracle on Tuesday so it's been hectic getting into the swing of things.  I am now more set up (computer, desk, training, etc.) to begin bloggin daily (I hope!).  I would love to hear how everyone is doing at cjduskis@yahoo.com.

Charissa

Day 8: A Wandering, Wondering Mind

    Have you ever read a paragraph in a book and at the end realize that you don't remember what you read? Joyce Meyer says in Battlefield of the Mind that this is due to a wandering mind and a lack of self-discipline over our thoughts. The battlefield is the mind, Joyce reminds us, and by our mind wandering we are unable to stay focused on the task at hand and therefore not learn what it is we need to learn. For example, you are in a class and are learning. All of sudden you realize your mind has wandered and you are now thinking about what you will cook for dinner. Your growth has now been hindered because you have not been listening to the valuable lesson in the class, therefore, gaining nothing. If this happens in a conversation, say with a loved one, instead of pretending to have heard what they said instead there is nothing wrong with saying, "Can you back up and repeat that? I let my mind wander off, and I did not hear a thing you said."

     I am completely guilty of doing this with Nate.  I have found that later in time the subject will come up that he was talking to me about earlier and I will begin to ask questions. He will say, "You haven't been listening have you?" Guilty! I appeared to be but my mind was wandering. This only hurts our relationship because Nate probably thinks I don't care to hear him. Which of course I do but I have let my mind wander. Plus, personally, it's sort of embarrassing that I don't recall a conversation even though I was pretending to listen but then later busted for having a wandering mind; something that I have complete control over.

     Another disadvantage of the mind is a wondering mind. Have you ever heard yourself say, “I wonder what the weather will be like.” Or “I wonder if Jane will be coming to the party this Friday.” Joyce says instead of wondering to trust in God that whatever the circumstances and whoever shows up that you will be able to deal with it because you can trust in God. Joyce says wondering is not good because, “wondering leaves a person in indecision, and indecision causes confusion.” So, when wondering what to wear, just decide. When wondering what to do next Sunday, just decide. If you need to change your plans later then fine but just wondering is indecisive and confusing. Joyce says that when one is confused it’s difficult for your prayers/askings to be answered because you are confused with what you are asking. Joyce points out that in Mark 11:23,24 Jesus did NOT say, “Whatever you ask for in prayer, wonder if you will get it. Instead, He said, “Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it – and you will!”