Positive Reinforcement

    My boyfriend is notorious for not texting or calling back very quickly.  Family members, friends, and myself have all picked on him for this.  We just want a text or phone call back, however, this doesn't happen very often.  I've nagged him about this many times.  With enough nagging he does eventually text or call back for a few weeks, then he drops back into the old pattern.  Anthony Robbins, in Awaken The Giant Within, states that positive reinforcement is critical if we want a new pattern to stick.
     First of all, I am not giving my boyfriend positive reinforcement.  No wonder it never sticks, there is no reward in me nagging him.  Secondly, I give negative reinforcement by being upset with him for not getting back to me.  Lastly, in order to turn this around, I need to give positive reinforcement right away.  (This may sound like training a puppy but it sort of is, but it works, so why not!?!)  Anthony Robbins says, "Timing is absolutely critical to effective conditioning."  So, give positive comments or a reward as soon as something you like happens.  This way pleasure will be associated with the act and the person will be more likely to repeat the behavior.  As Robbins points out numerous times in his book, we are constantly looking for pleasure and trying to avoid pain.
     What positive reinforcement can you give to yourself or others that would help patterns you desire to repeat?  If you workout, reward yourself with a compliment or a pat on the back.  If you resist a cookie, again, pat yourself on the back.  Give positive reinforcement to every aspect of your life that you want to develop into a pattern.  The goal is to have a more joyful and expansive life.  We have the power to condition ourselves to the fulfilling life we desire.  Give yourself a hug, a compliment, or tell yourself you love you.