We all have a story. One that we created in our younger years. It is a story that we believe to be true and will prove it to ourselves and others that it is no matter the cost. When I was younger I always felt like I would be someone of high importance, a princess or a famous singer when I grew up. I felt it deep down. As time passed someone cast a shadow on my light. This person led me to believe that my light wasn't any good in this world. Who was I to believe that I could be a princess or a singer? That you can't just grow up to be what you want to be, to have your light shine. So I decided to hide my light so no one could take it away. Further, I decided to be the opposite of my light and I began to act rebellious. This way no one could take it away. Eventually, I convinced myself that I was this rebel, forgetting about my light and my story. At this moment I felt lost and I knew something was missing. I began to search for this light in relationships, through shopping, achievements. But everywhere I looked I came up empty. Does this sound familiar to you? This is when I decided to go inside to learn about my story and rediscover my light.
Debbie Ford in The Secret of the Shadow explains to us that when she discovered that we all have a story including herself that she was determined to understand why she had created this story and what purpose it served. There are three important things Debbie learned; our stories hold the key to our unique purpose in life; hidden in the shadow of our story is a very special secret; once the secret is unveiled, we will stand in awe of the magnificence of our own humanity.
Our stories do have a purpose. They may set our limitations but they also help define who we are so we don't feel completely lost in this world, says Ford. By sticking to our story we know the outcomes, we know how to behave. Our stories draw clear boundaries between ourselves and others. We act as if we are separate beings even though we all want to belong. It's a paradox. With all good stories there is a personal drama that repeats itself. A close girlfriend of mine blames herself for not saving her parent's marriage when she was 7 years old. Now, in every relationship she self-sabotages (by pushing away her loved one when things are good) her relationships because she feels unworthy to have a good one when she couldn't save her parent's. She is sticking to her story. The story that she believes defines her. What's your story?
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