Day 25: The Power of Humility (Cleanse, Ford)

     Being humble is usually not an easy trait to behold.  We all are prideful in some way in different areas.  To be humble is to admit that I cannot do it all on my own.  I need help from another source other than myself.  I usually feel a resistance inside my chest when I just think about asking someone else for help (but only in certain areas).  First, I like to try things on my own and then if I am struggling, maybe, ask for help.  I find that when I do ask for help it is a benefit and a big help!  The next step in the Consciousness Cleanse is to ask for help from your source.  Debbie says that, "You will need to ask for assistance and for courage."  In order to continue on this cleanse we must stop managing our personal thoughts, beliefs and actions and instead be guided by the source that is greater than ourselves.

Day 24: The Power of Responsibility (Cleanse, Ford)

    Taking responsibility is the beginning of taking care of your needs and not depending on anyone else to do that for you.  You are responsible for loving you and protecting you.  Debbie says that "the only business that is yours is discerning what is God's business.  God's business is the deliverance of the soul's highest expression."  You can take care of yourself better than anyone else can.
     This rings clear to me.  When I am not feeling good emotionally (ie. sad, angry, frustrated) it's usually because I'm not taking care of my needs; I'm waiting on someone else to guess what my needs are, fulfill them and make me feel good.  Many times I sacrifice my needs because I'm waiting for someone else to take care of them for me.  How is someone else supposed to know how to fulfill my needs and to love me the way I need to be loved.  One may come close but never completely.  I need to take responsibility for myself and so do you.

Day 23: The Present- Liberation! (Cleanse, Ford)

    Yay!  The first 7 days of the Consciousness Cleanse are complete.  Now, we can focus on the present.  Debbie says that one core truth that is vital to know is that, "all suffering is rooted in misperception." It's possible that you believe that life should be better than today.  That you should be better, different or more than what you are right now.  This only causes dissatisfaction within yourself and takes you away from the present moment, the only moment you have.  To join the future we must give up the past, including all negative internal dialogue.  The present is the time to plant healing and holy seeds within our consciousness. Let yourself know that you are a marvelous, beautiful being.
     Know that there is liberation for you.  All you need to do is let go of the past and trust in God (your higher power).  There is a field of infinite possibilities for you, says Debbie.  You are liberated from your past and a fantastic future awaits you.

Day 22: The Gift of Self-Acknowledgment (Cleanse, Ford)

     In order to honor yourself you must acknowledge yourself.  The way to do this is by celebrating yourself says Debbie.  What is your next, greatest, evolution of yourself?  What have you accomplished so far that you should celebrate about yourself?  It's usually tough to do this but so often we praise others for their accomplishments.  Why not your own, more often?
     In order to celebrate myself and honor myself, which isn't the easiest thing to do, I would like to say that I am very pleased with my dedication to this blog and the hard work I have been putting in at work.  I am pleased that I am conscientious about my character and strive to be a better person everyday.  Phew!  I made it public.  What can you acknowledge yourself for?

Day 21: The Gift of Surrender (Cleanse, Ford)

   Through this cleansing process old feelings of hurt and anger will start to surface.  These feeling most likely won't feel good but Debbie states to allow them to surface, "trusting that the only way out is through."  When we surrender to our feelings then they can pass through instead of being held onto and causing discomfort emotionally, spiritually and physically.   The beautiful part that Debbie points out is that our feelings are not meant to be blocked or deprived of feeling them because this is the way we are informed when are needs are not being met.  Our feelings hold wisdom for us.  The only time we suppress our feelings is when we take them personally or believe that experiencing them means something about who you are.  For example, if a man cries he must be a wimp.  If you get angry you must have no self-control.  False!
     My top three emotions that I resist the most are feeling stupid, unprepared, anxious.  If I'm wrong or someone corrects me it feels awful as if I'm stupid.  I prepare like crazy for exams, presentations, parties I'm throwing etc. so I do not find myself unprepared.  I also try to avoid presentations and confrontations because I dislike being anxious.  If I allow these feelings to "be" they could serve me in doing a good job at work and being a good friend to others.  They actually have helped me to be a good hostess and to be prepared for work situations.  I suppose Debbie's point here is that all emotions deemed "good" or "bad" exist for our benefit.

Day 20: The Gift of Reverence (Cleanse, Ford)

    One simple task today in the Consciousness Cleanse, to bless your body.  Then, it can bless you back.  Our body permits us access to the game of life, Debbie says and we need to treat it like the divine gift it is.  Forgive your body if it is not exactly what you wished it would be (ie.  too fat, skinny, short, tall...)  Listen to your body because it tells you exactly what it needs.  "Your body needs to be exercised, to be cared for, nourished, and replenished.  it needs sunshine, good food, rest, nutrients, stretching, and care in the form of a dentist or a doctor." states Debbie.
     I received a text from my mom today on all the ways she is honoring her body.  She has a personal trainer, does yoga twice a week, bikes to places, takes time to read and eats healthy meals.  I'm very proud that she is taking care of herself.
      I got a new puppy Sunday evening and it's been a lot of work.  I feel tired and haven't been eating much since I'm stressed.  Plus, I haven't found time to exercise yet.  I can feel the difference in my body.  I feel less motivated to exercise, to eat healthy and feel less smiley.  Tonight I will make a healthy meal and exercise to keep my body running smoothly.  What will you do to honor your body today?

Day 19: The Gift of Forgiveness (Cleanse, Ford)

      The wrongs that are done to us and that we do to others requires forgiveness.  We have all needed to be forgiven and to forgive someone else, even ourselves.  Once we forgive, the pain and anger dissipates.  We can move on and look to the present and future instead of the past.  Ford says that "If you do not cut the cords of resentment, you will be held captive by the very people you are trying to get away from."  I've noticed that when I haven't forgiven someone I have icky feelings inside and it distracts me from being happy in the present moment.  Even if it's too hard to forgive completely I still try to reason with myself on why I should forgive.  It's easier for me to forgive when I understand the perspective of the other person and because I know they are human just like me.  
     When we don't forgive, Debbie says that we will remain in the cycles of self-abuse, negativity, and victim hood.  It steals our joy and connects us with this bad energy.  Leave the past in the past.  The way to do this is by forgiving others and ourselves.

Day 18: The Gift of Release (Cleanse, Ford)

    Yesterday's blog was intense, conjuring up old memories of unhappy times.  Debbie says that to cleanse the consciousness we have to release what accumulated within it.  She urges us to imagine all the times someone has said something negative toward us.  This impacted you in a negative way.  Such as "You didn't do that right.", "You made a mistake." etc.  It is time to clean that out!  Then there are also inner negative thought patterns that have been said over and over to yourself, "I'm not good enough, smart enough, educated enough, pretty enough..."  Can you imagine what these bad seeds have done to us over time?  How much weight have they bore on our daily decisions?

Exercise:
Visualize what all your pain, regrets and anger look like.  Mine is black ball with static.  Then, imagine throwing it away and say the following prayer:I give this to you, God, to transform into nectar for my soul.  I let go of all that has taken up space in my mind, body and psyche.  I give to you all the pain that I've been unable to let go of.  Today, I ask that you turn what has formerly been toxic into fuel for my future.

If my life were free from toxicity I would speak my mind in a loving way whenever I needed to take care of myself instead of not speaking up for myself for fear that someone won't like me or accept my needs.  I would have an open, fun-loving relationship with my boyfriend.  I wouldn't say negative things.  I would be close with my mom and sister and be content with my father's passing.  My friends would want to be around me because I am upbeat and willing to share myself with them.  Life would be sweet, joyful, and peaceful.

Day 17: The Gift of Self-Awareness (Cleanse, Ford)

     Day 2 of the Consciousness Cleanse asks us to reveal what is standing in the way of fulfilling our desires.  Are there any repetitive patterns that you find in your life?  Such as having the same type of relationship issues with every boyfriend you've ever had?  Debbie is saying that there are things from the past that are holding us back from moving past these repetitive patterns and fulfilling our desires.  In order to do this we need to dig into our past and make a list of things we wish had never done.  We need to bring self-awareness and light to these hidden regrets.  These are the things holding us back. 

Exercise:
What do I wish I had never done?
I wish I had never yelled at my boyfriends, not been disrespectful to my mom, not seen my dad by not going to church as often as he would have liked, not been distant from Chrissy in Italy, not revealed so much of myself when I've been drinking, not caused so much pain to my family for things I've done in the past, not distanced myself from my family, not smoked. 
What do I wish I could forget?
I wish I could forget that I've hurt my mom by not being nice at times, that I didn't spend more time with my dad, that I haven't always been close to Chrissy or nice to Nate.
What do I wish I could do differently?
I wish I could communicate effectively my feelings, wants and needs in a kind, loving and compassionate way, be confident in who I am, open up to my family and friends about me, spent more time with my dad, give more to my mom and sister.
What behaviors have I participated in that intentionally or unintentionally brought harm to others?
Outburst of anger at loved ones, closed off, not sharing my feelings when I should
How do you punish yourself for things you perceive have gone wrong in your life?
I distance myself from loved ones.  I cause fights when things are going good.
What are the reasons you hold onto these beliefs?
I hold onto these beliefs hoping that if I punish myself then I can even the score, be forgiven and loved again.

     If I allowed all my human behaviors, thoughts, feelings and experiences to live outside of myself then my relationships and life would run smoothly.  I wouldn't need to punish myself for past wrongs.  I would know that the past is a part of me but it doesn't define me.  I am a new person everyday that I choose to be.  Debbie instructs that there isn't anymore to do with what has been revealed here, but to sit with it until tomorrow.

Day 16: The Gift of Desire (Day 1 Cleanse, Ford)

"Desire is the spark that ignites the flame of your soul and illuminates your innate creativity, imagination, and vision." starts out Ford in day 1 of the Consciousness Cleanse.  We were all born with our soul's desires.  Over time we may have silenced them because we were too ashamed that if we followed our desire's then we wouldn't be accepted and loved by our family and friends; that we might be looked upon as selfish or might not get what we would ask for.  However, it is desire that propels us to grow and evolve, moving closer to your higher self. 

Day 1 Exercises:
Make a list of inner and outer desires:

A close family

A support group of friends

A thriving career in PQ counseling

A beautiful penthouse in downtown Denver

Inner peace

Confidence

A happy and loving relationship

Choose two desires:

1.  A happy and loving relationship.

2.  A successful career in Pure Qualities.

Why do you want these desires?

I want a happy and loving relationship because having a partner that I can share my life with makes me happy and aids me in growing and learning to be better.  He would challenge me spiritually and would provide love.  We would be partners, helping each other in this life.  A successful career in PQ would give me the ability to help others emotionally with their lives.  I would dedicate all my work time to helping other people out through the program.  I would be happy because it would provide me with money to live and a place to express my ideas with others.  

     Last, I cut out some pictures from a magazine representing myself in a loving, healthy relationship and as a successful PQ counselor.  I have pasted these photos into my journal to look at at least twice a day.  I like listing my desires.  I feel more focused and energized knowing what my desires are.  I encourage you to do the same.  More on this topic can be found on Oprah.com at Gift of Desire.

Day 15: Daily cleanse ritual (Cleanse, Ford)

Debbie in The 21 Day Consciousness Cleanse recommends taking 20 minutes every morning that you are doing the cleanse to do the following:

Take a few slow, deep breaths.  Thank yourself for embarking on this journey.  Bless yourself for choosing to reconnect with the divine force that resides within.  Pray and ask for strength and guidance.  Read over the process work from the previous day.  Then, set a daily mantra to nourish you throughout the day ("I am kind and compassionate.") and reflect on the following questions:

1.  What is the condition of your internal flame (your spirit) right now?  Hopeful
2.  On a scale of one to ten, where would you rate it?  7  Where would you like it to be at the end of the day?  Confident in the future, 10
3.  What is your intention for the day?  To be humble and compassionate.
4.  What is the primary feeling you want to generate from your intention?  Gratitude
5.  What will you have to give up - what thought, belief or behavior - to ensure that you fulfill your intention for today?  My pride, that I know everything.
6.  What is your healing mantra for the day?  I am teachable.
7.   How many times do you need to hear your mantra today?   30 times

Tomorrow we will start with day 1 of the cleanse:
The Gift of Desire

Day 14: The Practice (Consciousness Cleanse, Ford)

    To begin to cleanse our soul's and reconnect to spirit, room needs to be made for this new way of thinking.  The first week Debbie helps us to dive into our past and clean it up.  She says that in order for new thinking to come in there needs to be room.  Therefore, old thinking needs to be cleaned up. This cleanse will develop and strengthen your innate capacity to elevate yourself out of any stressful situation, "whether it's a hurtful exchange with a loved one, a difficult circumstance at work, or a horrible act of violence that takes place in your world."  You will be able to navigate your way out of the darkness and into the light of your higher self says Debbie.  In the end of the cleanse you will be able to sustain healthy thoughts, loving feelings, brilliant ideas and unlimited possibilities.  I like that!
   Please prepare for this cleanse as a time just for you.  A time to reflect and be honest with yourself.  To start, begin noticing what IS going right in your life instead of what isn't.  Whenever I get caught up in my emotions and am back in a calm state (more connected to my higher self) I wonder what happened to my connection to my highest self.  Why was I so distant from the person I want to be?  I want to be kind and loving at all times.  Rational and calm when things get rough.  Debbie says that this cleanse will connect us with our higher selves and will bring peace into every situation.  Preparation is key before starting this journey.  Time set aside in the next 21 days is important, to journal and to reflect.  I just bought a brand new journal.  I encourage you to do the same.  She also recommends a personal prayer such as the serenity prayer to say everyday before you begin the day's work:

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Day 13: Preparation (21 Day Cousciousness Cleanse, Ford)

    Debbie Ford, in The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse, prepares us for the journey ahead.  During this journey we will clean up the past, get honest about the present, and envision a future unlike anything you've ever imagined.  This cleanse is designed to purify your mind and emotions and reconnect you with love, states Debbie.  At the end of this journey you will be able to see that all you need to satisfy and sustain yourself is already within you; the external world cannot satisfy the longing you have to live at your highest self but by following your inner desire, your highest potential you can find deep inner peace and satisfaction. 
     Most of us think that having more money or the perfect body will somehow satisfy us enough to feel content inside.  Yet, I've noticed, that the more money I make and the skinnier I get, the more money I want and the more weight I want to lose.  Debbie has coached many uber successful people and has found that most, if not all, still yearn for an inner peace and contentment that all their money and hot bodies just aren't giving to them.  She says to fill this need we need to fill ourselves with love.  So, prepare! 

     Debbie asks, "What is the one feeling you desire to feel most this year? How will you act differently if you were feeling that feeling all the time? How would people around you benefit? What would be different in your world?"  I desire to feel inner peace in any situation.  I want to feel love for others constantly and I would like to forgive instantly.  If I were feeling peace and love I would be a calm, content, happy Charissa.  I wouldn't get into so many fights or shed so many tears.  I wouldn't second guess myself and my life.  I would be a light for others to be around because I would be able to share my good feelings with others.  How about you?

Day 12: The 21 Day Consciousness Cleanse

     Debbie Ford in her latest book, The 21 Day Consciousness Cleanse, guides us into living our best life.  Oprah.com states that, "The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse is a detox diet for the soul. When you take the time to cleanse your physical body of accumulated stress and toxicity, you are rewarded with increased vitality and optimal health. In the same way, the consciousness cleanse is designed to purify your mind and emotions, bringing you enormous amounts of strength, confidence and deep inner peace. The cleanse is designed to clear away the difficulties of your past—your struggles, stress, hurts and resentments—which may cloud your perception and prevent you from reaching your heart-filled goals.

      The consciousness cleanse takes you on a journey of spiritual revitalization that will move your attention from the outside world back to your soul's divine design, the future that you're aching for, whether your breakthrough lies in the financial aspects of your life, a new job, a more inspiring career, an intimate relationship or breaking through the old patterns with someone you love. Maybe the divine design for you is to have a body that you love and the vitality of your youth. Maybe it's time for you to experience more love, more peace, more joy, more happiness or more intimacy. An exciting and inspiring future awaits you beyond the noise in your mind, beyond the guilt, doubt, fear, shame, insecurity and heaviness of the past you carry around."  That sounds great to me!


     Read along with me as I blog or just catch the highlights on my blog.  This book will take 21+ days as the title states to get the full potential this book has to offer.

Day 11: The Secret of The Shadow (Ford, Shadow)

     "Hidden in the shadow of our stories is a great secret.  This secret holds the key to unleashing our magnificence.  Our secret is the keeper of abundant joy, unlimited possibility, and Divine bliss." starts Ford in the last chapter of her book, The Secret of the Shadow.  Ford goes on to say that this secret is the power of our true nature.  All of the traumas and events in our lives have taught us exactly what we need to know to share our unique wisdom. 
    To live outside our stories is to be willing to surrender what is known.  Without our stories the Universe must be trusted to guide us on our path.  We must trust that whatever path the Universe wants us to walk is the right path just for us and to follow it without resistance.
     I remember an incident when my mom was having a conversation with her best friend, Linda.  I tried to listen to get in on the conversation and to share my thoughts and opinions.  I was only 6 years old and what I had to say didn't quite fit into the maturity of the conversation but I still tried.  My mom told me that she was having an adult conversation and that when I'm older I could join in.  I got the idea in my head that my thoughts, opinions, and ideas didn't matter.  Looking back, I'm constantly trying to include everyone in on any conversation that I'm having.  I will purposefully silence myself to hear others and make them feel included; that their thoughts, opinions and ideas matter.  I've noticed this is actually a great gift and one that most people struggle with.  The secret to this gift that I am ready to reveal is that I do have great thoughts, opinions and ideas and it's time for me to share them with the world.  Thanks Debbie!

Day 10: Living Outside Your Story (Ford, Shadow)

   Debbie, in The Secret of the Shadow explains that living inside of our story will only bring us fear and limitations. We need to live outside of our story to experience all the possibilities.  This way there is no wanting. There is an inner knowing that the Universe will take you wherever you need to go; that everything will unfold in it's divine order. This way you can bask in excitement, joy, abundance, trust etc. says Debbie. Why wouldn't we want that?
     We need to step out of our story ("shadow box") by recognizing it.  When negative thoughts start creeping in such as "I'm not smart enough." or "I'm not pretty enough." we need to recognize that this is our story and we don't have to live in it.  We can change it around.  Our stories only survive when we act them out and give them attention.  Debbie says that every time you recognize you are in your story repeat, "Oh, I'm in my story. Thank you for the thought but right now I am choosing a different, positive thought that is outside my story."  For example, I think I'm not smart enough when someone tries to correct me on a task.  Instead of getting defensive, next time, I will repeat this phrase and realize that I am smart and that being taught a better or a different way is only improving my life.  And wow, someone wants to take their time to teach me. Cool!

To step outside our stories ("When you're thinking about God, you're not thinking about your problems."):

1. Ask the people who were involved in your emotional traumas to give you their version of your story.
2. Rewrite your story as though you were an eternal optimist who could see only the light side of your drama.
3. Learn to recognize clearly when you have stepped back inside your story. Write down ten feelings, thoughts, and habits you engage in when you are inside your story and when you are outside your story.

Day 9: How to use your uniqe recipe (Ford, Shadow)

     Ford, in The Secret of your Shadow, has been teaching us that our story gives us our exact purpose in this life.  By looking into our story we can see how all the pieces of our lives have worked together to give us our unique contribution. Every drama and experience happened to you for a reason.  Now, you can ask yourself why something happened and what it is supposed to teach you.  Lastly, how you can you use what you learned for your unique purpose?
     A part of my story is the struggle I've had with my emotions.   Every month (due to my femaleness) my mind takes over and starts thinking negatively.  Thoughts such as, "Why is Nate ignoring me?"  Even though he is behaving as any other day of the month.  I've struggled with these out-of-control emotions for years. In order to gain from my story I need to look at the purpose of this experience.  Just this weekend I learned that I need to focus on all the good things that Nate does for me such as holding my hand, laughing at my not so funny jokes and telling me I look nice instead of focusing on what he isn't doing.  I actually was doing this and putting myself in a bad.mood. Ha! This is now a piece of wisdom I can share with others.  This lesson is apart of my unique story so I can help others to cope with their emotions. 

How to extract your specialty:
1. Make a list of the significant experiences of your life, including your tramas, victories, loves, losses, successes, and humiliations.
2. Look for the common theme or themes that each of these events shares.
3. Ask yourself,  "If I were going to teach a college class based on the incidents of my past, what would the name of my course be?"

"Our specialty is our unique recipe, the sum total of our life's experiences."   Debbie Ford

Day 8: Making Peace with Your Story (Ford, Shadow)

     Many of us hold onto past mistakes and resentments.  This is only hurting us and our present lives.  As humans we continually punish ourselves instead of moving on and living the lives we deserve, without blame or hesitations.  Ford, in The Secret of Your Shadow, explains that we first need to forgive ourselves to move on.  This can only happen "when we relax into the vulnerability of our humanity and find compassion for our own internal struggles."  It has always been a guarantee for the human race that we will make mistakes.  It wasn't a guarantee that we should beat ourselves up for it.  Not at one moment were we ever expected by our creator to be perfect.  This life is about learning and creating healthy, forgiving relationships with ourselves and others.  Why not forgive yourself?
     Ford also says that we need to resolve any unfinished business.  My mom did a lot for me while I was growing up and I put her through a lot.  I feel that I need to repay her.  In order to balance the scales I will.  I've decided to spend more quality time with her.  Others may have stolen something from work and feel unresolved about it.  They could call their old employer and try to repay what they took.  In this way we are rebalancing our internal scales and resolving any unfinished business.  This is also vital to making peace with our story.  What past things have you done that you still feel uneasy about?  How can you balance your internal scales?

Day 7: Making the Transformation from Victim to Empowered being

Ford, in The Secret of your Shadow, has 7 steps to transforming you from being a victim to being empowered.  Staying in the victim role serves only a self-defeating purpose.  Being empowered aids us in living our life with purpose and pleasure.

1.  Unconceal the issue or emotional wound that is currently causing you pain.  This is something that is occurring now like a difficult relationship or a financial crisis. Ask,"how does this make me feel?"

2.  Close your eyes and ask yourself, "When have I felt these same feelings before?  What incident from my past does this remind me of?"  View the.incident that comes to mind.

3.  Ask yourself, "What did I make this event mean about me?"  Dd it empower me or disempower me?
 
4.  List the behaviors and recurrent patterns that have resulted from this decision.  If you labeled yourself unlovable or not good enough then look for experiences that have validated that decision.

5. Look at who you blame for the limiting decision you made about yourself and whom you get to make wrong for all that has happened to you as a result of that decision. List all the ways you have proven you were right and made the other person wrong.  Whom are you getting back at when this theme replays itself?

6.  Close your eyes and ask yourself, "What needs to happen for me to heal this incident?"  Is there something you need to say or have someone say to you to feel complete?  Write it out to help process your feelings or write a letter to the person involved.

7. Uncover the gifts this incident has given you.  Make a list of everything you have gained because of this. Once we find the gifts we can begin to heal because we can see how these events were a blessing instead of a reason to be resentful toward others and ourselves.