The Happiness Project chapters 1 & 2 recap
Chapter 1 Subject: Vitality and more energy
Gretchen decides to begin her happiness project with some of the things that are more obvious such sleeping and exercising more and cleaning up clutter around the house. She predicts that clearing out the physical chaos she would be one step closer to inner happiness. She begins with the well-known facts such as sleeping more, a full 8 hours is recommended and having a regular exercise routine, 20 minutes 3 times a week minimum. She then cleans out the clutter from her closet freeing her from old pants and warn out sweatshirts. As she put it, if you say "I could wear this" that means you never will so throw it out! Once her closet was clean, she felt a sense of relief because she was no longer reminded of some of the "mistake" outfits she bought and never wore. I could relate to that. For example the raspberry $70 Bandolino pumps I only wore once because they didn't fit right. A constant reminder of the mistake I made purchasing these pricey shoes. Studies also show that it can be discouraging if one has too many choices or too many clothes. A few more tidbits include the one minute rule - take the time to put a jacket away or papers away if it will only take 1 minute or less to do it. Do an evening tidy-up - it will relax you and it's easier to do a little every night. Her last bit of advice is to act the way you want to feel. She wanted to have energy to play with her kids so she played with them will all of her energy even though she was feeling tired, she had a great time and surprisingly was energized.
Chapter 2 Subject: Marriage
Gretchen has been married for 11 years and while her marriage is great there are still behaviors that have slipped through the cracks. She has decided to quit nagging, give small treats, praise and appreciation to her husband. She will not expect praise as sometimes this doesn't happen. Then, she would get upset because she was not appreciated causing hurt feelings. She realized that she cannot change her husband but she can change herself. As she began to practice these acts of love she noticed a change in her husband. He did show her love in his own way. When fighting to fight right, only tackle the situation at hand instead of bringing up all the past issues. And never use "always" or "never" in a sentence. Try to laugh more and be more lighthearted instead of snapping back. She also decides its not a good idea to dump. What she means is when she is upset about a friend, work or a bill to not go off on how upset she is but instead to say, "oh well" and then deal with it without dumping all those bad feelings. She decides to give him one week of extreme niceness. She quotes Pierre Reverdy, "There is no love, only proofs of love." This week will include more hugs and "I love you's." And love notes around the house including all of the things listed above.
I will begin to compile my list of action items to follow Gretchen's plan toward happiness. Hopefully, they will bring me happiness too. Although, she does say that everyone's happiness project would be different but for the sake of my study I will tailor my happiness project to be similar to hers. I will sleep a full 8 hours every night. I usually already do but that's only because I become so sleepy by 9:30 (I wake up at 6:30 for work). I will begin an exercise program. I would love to get a personal trainer if it fits within the budget. I will clean out my closet, my boyfriend Nate will love that one. I also love the idea of helping him clean out his part! I will do the extreme week of niceness, quit nagging, and stop complaining. I can see why I could be happier doing these things. Inherently, I already know this would make myself and my relationship happier. It can be hard when you spend a lot of time with one person to take them for granted and not be as sweet as you once were. I look forward to seeing how Nate will react to me being extremely nice. Hopefully not too surprised as Gretchen put it, she was happy she didn't see too much of a change in her husband. Her interpretation was that she was seen already by her husband as nice. I will have my fingers crossed.
Gretchen explains that its growth that brings happiness. That's why a new car or building feels good because it's a sign of growth either financially, mentally, or physically. Tomorrow will be chapters 3 and 4. Once the book is complete next Sunday then I will create my own happiness chart as Gretchen does. The chart is a checklist of her resolutions that get a check mark if she does it for the day or an x if she doesn't.
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