Ford, in The Secret of your Shadow, has 7 steps to transforming you from being a victim to being empowered. Staying in the victim role serves only a self-defeating purpose. Being empowered aids us in living our life with purpose and pleasure.
1. Unconceal the issue or emotional wound that is currently causing you pain. This is something that is occurring now like a difficult relationship or a financial crisis. Ask,"how does this make me feel?"
2. Close your eyes and ask yourself, "When have I felt these same feelings before? What incident from my past does this remind me of?" View the.incident that comes to mind.
3. Ask yourself, "What did I make this event mean about me?" Dd it empower me or disempower me?
4. List the behaviors and recurrent patterns that have resulted from this decision. If you labeled yourself unlovable or not good enough then look for experiences that have validated that decision.
5. Look at who you blame for the limiting decision you made about yourself and whom you get to make wrong for all that has happened to you as a result of that decision. List all the ways you have proven you were right and made the other person wrong. Whom are you getting back at when this theme replays itself?
6. Close your eyes and ask yourself, "What needs to happen for me to heal this incident?" Is there something you need to say or have someone say to you to feel complete? Write it out to help process your feelings or write a letter to the person involved.
7. Uncover the gifts this incident has given you. Make a list of everything you have gained because of this. Once we find the gifts we can begin to heal because we can see how these events were a blessing instead of a reason to be resentful toward others and ourselves.
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