Day 11: The reality of GUILT (Dyer)

     "I'm not talking to you!", "If you loved me...", "Don't come near me, how do you expect me to be loving after what you've done?" are all words to manipulate guilt out of someone, most likely someone you care deeply about.  Wayne Dyer, in chapter 5 of Your Erroneous Zones points out that these methods of invoking guilt are only harmful.  We use these tactics in hope that the other person will feel guilty enough, coward and admit defeat and do whatever it is you are guilting them into doing.  Do you really want to manipulate someone into doing something?
     I often have guilt when I feel I have done something against my own moral code such as yelling at someone, not paying enough attention to someone or not being as nice as I could be.  I feel so guilty afterward because I should have or could have done better or been better.  It eats at me, right in the pit of my stomach and it sucks!  The only irony, as Dyer points out, is that "No amount of guilt can ever undo anything."  It is an emotion that purely keeps you stuck in the past.  You can only feel guilty from something done or not done, in the past.  In this present moment, the past is over, gone, finished.  Why be stuck in a moment that has passed?  Easier said than done Dyer, but thanks for the advice.  In all seriousness, he has a great point.  The past is in the past; the only choice I can make for myself is right now.  If I didn't like something I did then what can I do to remedy that now?
    Some things I feel guilty for:  yelling at my sister, avoiding co-workers, paying more attention to one person than another.  The list is longer but just a few examples here.  I guess I'm not perfect yet.  I suppose I need to accept where I am in my own character growth; it is a process after all.  I know I will still feel guilty for these things but I can certainly try not to be.  I can only do so much and I'm a human being with many emotions.  The fact is that I did yell (and will again) or wasn't super nice but I do have the choice to be different now.  In the past, if and when I yelled it's because I was angry (a real emotion).  In the past, when I have cried (a real emotion) it's because I was sad.  In the past, when I am quiet because I am tired, mentally or physically, (a real emotion) and didn't pay enough attention to someone it's okay because I was tired.  I am real, I have emotions and I don't need to feel guilty for any of these emotions (which I usually do afterward!).  Some warped thinking that I should be perfect, loving, sweet, kind and caring at all times (Impossible!).  I am progressing every day but I am still human.  This I will accept, but sitting here and being guilty for something I chose to act upon in the past is ridiculous and only harming my own progress for growth.