Aren't we all dependent just a little? Okay maybe a lot more than we think. Wayne Dyer in Your Erroneous Zones explains that many of us are taught to be emotionally dependent on our parents and then later in life our spouse. When really we don't need to be. It is an erroneous zone. Being independent is being your own person, not dependent on someone else to determine how you feel or what you think.
What does this independence mean for you? Personally, I rely on my friends and family more than most people. I don't know. I value their opinion but I also may be a little too dependent. If my mom or sister want to go to a certain restaurant I will go along with it even if I don't want to because I am dependent on them liking me and accepting me. This is the irony or erroneous zone that Wayne Dyer is talking about. We self-sacrifice because it is easier than making decisions. All we have to do is depend on someone else to make decisions for us. He says this is an erroneous zone because when we are dependent we are not taking care of ourselves the way we deserve. Our own opinions matter very much to ourselves. Where I want to eat matters too.
The same goes for a relationship; you are two independent people sharing a life together. Each person is an individual and a relationship will not work if both are dependent on each other; forgetting that at one point in time they were two separate people. The union should be a benefit to each other's lives not a sacrifice. I would like to learn more about dependence. One chapter is just not enough on this erroneous zone. I guess that means this is a big one for me.
This is why I always say "you have to learn to be ok alone before you will find the person you will marry" and for some reason.... everyone thinks I'm crazy when I say it.
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